Dijana Zmija-Zvuk Zrikavaca

Звук зрикаваца подсећа ме на лубенице, дуге заласке сунца, топле ноћи, успорен живот, пуно одмора и много смеха.Подсећа ме на људе који су знали да уживају у моменту, на даљине којима смо се радовали, на забаве које су нас окупљале, логорску ватру у сумрак и печене кукурузе. Звук зрикаваца некако је опевавао наш смирај и тишину, знали смо да живимо плућима пуним и свега нам је било довољно чак и кад је мало.Звук зрикаваца некада испуњавао је звездано небо радостима и чежњама.Данас нити гледамо у небо нити нам је до зрикаваца стало.
Дијана Змија
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Dijana Zmija-Rarely Will You Find

Rarely will you find person who observes you and reads you when u don’t speak.Imagine now the world full of people asking for explanations they don’t even want to understand. What a gap it is between those who are AWARE and those who are so busy with ego and daily doubts that they don’t even dare to think, nor to look, nor to look over your actions, what to say if i want them to understand or just SEE…And there are many steps to go still until they could come to be AWARE.

 

Dijana Zmija

Dijana Zmija-Don’t Dwell At The Closed Door

When everyone leave you, do not leave yourself .Meet those who are always left to be alone, read books, write, draw, go to walk, listen to the silence, do something you did not do before…Sometimes our sadness and loneliness need to be our new fuel to find something better. Do not dwell at the closed door.Someone refused you , someone judged, someone was weak, someone was broken….too much to be able to love you. It is not your fault. It never is. Do not dwell at the closed door because a person you search for would never close one in front of you.

Dijana Zmija

Dijana Zmija-Tower Of Madness

In a God forsaken land, beyond the greatest sea, the tower, similar but not alike any lighthouse, was built.

In it you enter alone but you are never actually left to wonder. You have a company. As you step on the staircases that go in circle, you step to a never ending journey.

The light would go darker, the heart would pump faster, the loneliness would suffocate you, giving you chills, the feeling of worthlessness and drowning in emptiness. You would try to continue step by step and as you rise, you’d face your worse fears, some broken childhood memories, some past blood of your soul, some present madness and future at dawn.

You’d walk as fast as you can but you would neve walk alone.The tower would test your mind and heart, the walls would tempt your senses,  your vision would make you blind. You’d feel emptiness of life and death’s horrors. You’d cry in deepest screams of what is and what might be. You’d suffocate for long, not knowing is it air or poison.

People gone mad just by stepping to the enterence of this tower. No one ever returned sane and untouched. However, just once in maybe thousands of years, there could  exist a soul of a pure heart who already fought, in this veary reality,  battles worse then any nightmare this mad tower can bring . The one who did, is the  one who’d get away untouched and unharmed by shadows and her mind. It’d resurrect as the Phoenix does, in the scariest and deppest flames that lay hidden in the pure darkness.

 

Dijana Zmija

Dijana Zmija-Depth Of Silence

I come because i know what it means to not show up when expected.
I explain because i know what it means to be left without explanation.
I trust and give chances because the world is already full of doubts and acts out of fears.
I risk because there is no way to live this life all secured and away of troubles.
I embrace because i was often left out and ignored.
I ask before i judge, conclude or assume.
I often hear the look that one has in his eyes because mouth are full of tricks and temptations along with lies.
I wait because impattience already costed many tears.
I let go because on the door might be the one who waited me for years.
We need a space to give for those who come but also those who wanna go.
In this life you don’t measure love with anything but time and effort it takes to stay and show.
Dijana Zmija

Dijana Zmija-Sviralo

Drzak je to čovek. Upalih očiju, oštra pogleda. Povučen, istrajan I nezasit tisane. Nikada za sebe ne izusti ni reč.Ako I mora da govori priča o drugima. Samo dobro. A kada ostane bez ideja o tuđoj dobroti, onda svira. Majstor je frula I flauta. To je jedino što zna I na čemu vežba. Nema drugi posao ali nije prosjak. Voljen je I dobrodošao  u svačijoj varoši. A svoje instrumente ručno pravi. Koristi razno drvo I šiblje no  frule posebno srezane od dugačkog Bambusa, daju njegovim melodijama priču… Melanholičnu I setnu a ko god da je čuje vraća se u najdalje krajeve svoje dečije duše. Neretko I zaplače.

Čovek je primećen gde god da zasvira a sudbina mu je bila takva da nikada nije seo na hladne pločnike ulica niti morao da moli za komad hleba. Muzika je otvarala ljudska srca, te kao da su čoveku bila na tome zahvalna, gde god da zasvira, u holu  pozorišta ili restorana, čekao ga je bogat obrok  osim aplauza I osim novca.

Nije imao dece, ni ženu, nikog bliskog od ljudi ali je posedovao svog džepnog miša I činilo se da jedno drugom  prijateljski dopunjuju sve nedostatke života.Iako su iz različitih svetova, spajala ih je posebna melodija.

Jedne pozne zimske večeri, godine su pokucale na vrata teatra, te poslednje večeri ovog skromnog a drskog čoveka. Sva mu se nametljiva ćud odmakla iz duše. Nakon jedne od najlepših pesama svirane iz bambusovog svirala, zaspao je na fotelji iz publike, ne probudivši se vise. Mnogo je ljudi zaplakalo u nedostatku reči  žala I u odavanju počasti melodiji koju niko neće moći  da odsvira sa njegovom strašću . Bambusova svirala  vise niko neće praviti  niti se noću buditi  da oslušne vetar što nosi zvuke ka kosi.

Od te večeri pa nadalje vise niko nikad nije video džepnog miša ali su se mnogi mogli zakleti  da negde čuju njegove male, sitne  jecaje.

Svako veče u mesecu kada polumesec izađe iza vrha obližnje planine, kao da olujni vetar peva melodiju bambusovog svirala, kao da varoši spavaju dublje, uspavanije…Kao da mali džepni miš negde jeca, note jedinstvene, neponovljive.

 

Dijana Zmija

Obdukcija jedne ljubavi

knjiskimoljacc

Po ko zna koji put rečima me razdvajaš od razuma,

Uzimaš kaput, u džep stavljaš cigarete,

Povlačiš rezicu, zalupljuješ vratima

I odlaziš.

Sklupčana u nekom ćošku se navikavam

Na svaki od tvojih poteza

Koji postaju

Rutina.

Gledam oko sebe iščuđavajući se

Koliko samo tuđjih stvari

Nosi epitet nečeg mog.

Pregršt razumnih misli

Inferiorno kleči pred

Superiornim ludostima

I još luđim pitanjem,

“Kad ćeš se vratiti?”.

Čekajući tebe

Razočarala sam

Dete u sebi

Čije sam snove

Zakopala pred tuđim nogama

Čiji sam polet prodala zarad malo ljubavi

Ili bar nečeg što na ljubav liči.

Previše ponosa nas je sravnilo

Pa postadosmo ništa više od

Dva vojnika koja kontuzovanih srca

Leže na ukaljanim bojištima

Teško priznavajući

Da su ovaj rat

Izgubili.

A voliš me u dubini svoje napukle duše

I volim te celim svojim razorenim bićem

Ali nekim jutrima nije suđeno zajedno da sviću

Pa svako jutro koje svanem bez tebe

A…

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